She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
