I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
