got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
