Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
