3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
