I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
