you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
