My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
