Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
