Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
