But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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