My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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