are you still at the devil's house?
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
