somebody snuck up and got me drunk
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
