i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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