What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
