If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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