I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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