i just wanna soil my oats bro
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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