careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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