do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize