If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
This girl is more easily done than said...
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
