I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
he told me I talked like a deaf person
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Randomize
