oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
