fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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