she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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