you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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