i don't like sucking hair
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
