i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
