I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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