Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
