I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
My vagina just clenched in fear
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
