Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
