I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
