i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
