maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize