Just fell off a train. Bad.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
