that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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