I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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