I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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