So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
