he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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