Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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