why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
