I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
You've changed since you got that strap on
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
