im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
