I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
