His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
