Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
