I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
tequila makes me forget i have legs
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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