Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize