so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
