No awkward lesbian experiences without me
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
