Non-Jews are for practice
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
