tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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