Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
