was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
operation harelip BJ is a go
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Randomize
