As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
