she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
