he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
