Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
