i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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