that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
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