if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize