i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
