These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Randomize